It’s been hard sometimes to explain to other people let alone myself what my sexuality is. Of course sexuality is complicated and multilayered. If you want to get even more detailed about it for your own research purposes I would recommend reading the Kinsey studies or at the very least watching the movie Kinsey.
Back before I knew I was transgender I kept flip flopping from saying that I was a lesbian to bisexual and back. Please keep in mind that I was born in 1980 so I didn’t even hear a whisper about transgender until 1998 and barely heard anything about LGB. This flip flopping was because I found guys attractive but I had a hard time relating to them as a girl at that time, but, girls were kind of easier for me to interact with because there was the assumption that we had things in common on their end.
Now that I have hormonally transitioned it has been easier to figure out that I am mostly into men though there are some women I am still into. This has been labeled by society as Homoflexible. I just say bisexual most of the time to people unless we get more in depth in the conversation. This answer has had a lot of people scratching their heads at me. If you’re into dudes why did you transition? Wouldn’t it be easier just to have stayed a girl? No, see being a dude has actually made me more comfortable in my skin and other men treat me as a dude instead of a girl. There is an unconscious and sometimes even socially motivated difference in how men treat women and how they treat each other. I am not talking about that macho chest bumping crap. I am talking about topics of conversation, hobbies, etc. Dudes tend to be more relaxed around each other depending on the context.
Being mostly gay and also transgender brings up a whole host of dating difficulties because most gay men aren’t comfortable with girl parts being anywhere near them or they find them totally gross. However, there is a growing section as more education and such comes out of bisexual guys or homoflexible ones that are okay with the whole package as long as everything else looks and sounds male. Unfortunately, I am not attracted to other transmen. The girl parts semi freak me out due to my own body dysphoria. I can only date girls and be intimate with them once I am firmly emotionally attached unless of course they are transwomen with their bits intact. Like I said sexuality is complicated but people are attracted to whom they are attracted to.
Being open about ones sexuality and what you are truly looking for in a partner both in looks but especially in personality is UBER important. I can not tell you the amount of times I have contacted people through online dating sites only for them to have no skill in articulating anything despite having a well done profile. This is because people have Googled and copied other profiles to try to get the best responses but then don’t know how to handle anything. They aren’t sure of their sexuality, aren’t sure about how to socialize, can’t hold a conversation, and the worst would rather just hook up instead of think outside the bedroom or learn about themselves and who they are dating. People make the mistake that most of sexuality is about sex. It’s not it is about attraction, compatibility, and much more. Even Albert Kinsey knew that sexuality was more than tab a slot b.
Be gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual, what have you but be proud of who you are attracted to and make sure to take the time to truly learn yourself. It will save you a shit ton of trouble in the end if you do.
One thought on “Thoughts on my sexuality – Transguy Stuff”
A hundred likes if I could, because you make what can be a difficult subject very approachable and I really like the main message of learning to be happy with who you are regardless of preferences. Well thought out wording!