It has been an adventure

So, last month I decided to reinstall Windows 10 on my boot drive because it had been acting up a lot. I backed up my data, my bookmarks, but forgot to back up my passwords.

In the era of identity theft and rampant online paranoia to the point where a lot of people use VPNs even on their private networks. It is hell to get accounts recovered from Google. I thought that I was going to lose this blog, I had to start a new Walmart account, and I almost couldn’t get in to pay my car insurance. It was a complete nightmare.

Fair warning to all of you that read this blog. Even if you have 2 factor ID on your gmail accounts through your cell phone it is not enough to allow you to reset your password. Why the hell have it if that isn’t enough? *shakes head* Luckily, I tried an old password that I found in my offline journal for one of my back up email accounts that are linked to my main. It worked and I was saved!

Other than that life has been okay. I spent the last three weeks with sciatica, but, it is getting better quite rapidly compared to other times I’ve had it. I had to do an appeal hearing for federal disability because they want to kick me off since my cancer doesn’t seem to be recurring despite all the other issues both physically and mentally that I deal with that make it impossible for me to work a normal job. I did tell them at the end of the phone call that my goal is to go to the local community college as soon as the campus reopens and take certification courses in four disciplines. 3D Modeling, Animation, Texturing, and Business Illustration. My goal is to make my own online business where I make models for various online marketplaces, get 3D printers (normal and wood) so that I can make smaller items for sale on Etsy, and also peddle my wares on Second Life. I want to make high quality geeky/kawaii/gamer/sci fi clothing for men and décor items.

Second Life is actually a huge deal because if your business takes off and stays pretty up there you can make thousands a month. I could then take that in game money, reinvest in my business, as well as diversify into other areas like real estate, and monthly events to help expand and stabilize what I make on the game platform. I also would like to do world textures and avatar skins for Minecraft.

Doing this kind of money making business would allow me to set my own hours, work as slow or as quickly as I can with my physical and mental issues day to day will allow, and generally help keep my stress and anxiety low. I promised the guy on the phone that if I ever became wealthy enough to care for myself completely that I would ask them to take me off disability. It took months of therapy to work through the fact that I just can’t handle working the way I used to. I was raised that unless I was bleeding, dying, or so sick I couldn’t move without vomiting that I had to go to school or go to work. It’s hard to work through that kind of conditioning and except that you just can’t do that anymore.

The holidays were good. My mom liked her little gifts. I liked my little gifts. We had Chinese Food on the 24th and 25th which is the one tradition that we follow from one of the religions in the house. Though I do try to also stay mostly away from pork and shell fish as well. My one weakness on the pork front is Peking Pork. LOL

Anyway, I will start coming and writing on here again regularly soon. I have a few tv shows to write about, a new game or two, and some new stories to suggest so keep an eye out for those!

Relationships, Communication, and Lust – Opinion

I’ve been trying to find a life partner for decades. I’ve had a handful of boyfriends and a couple of girlfriends in my life nothing that lasted very long for multiple reasons the majority of which was mostly on them. I’ve been lied to, hidden, cheated on, used for sex, and used as a backup. The amount of sexual partners I have had is also very low compared to average in this day and age. This is only if you count oral as well as intercourse. If you don’t count oral, which a lot of people don’t anymore, then it’s been less than a handful of partners which is mostly unheard of outside of religious people.

You see I believe in the mostly old fashioned view of taking things slow. For me there are intimacy steps and trust to build. Full on sex isn’t even an option for me until at least six months to a year in unless I’ve known them for years as a friend first. In that time we are supposed to hang out, go on dates, text or voice call each other everyday even if it is just to say good morning, talk about our interests, plans for the future, etc. You know, build an actual relationship that hopefully will stand the test of time as long as we communicate.

Lately I have been getting a lot of men that are already in relationships or married messaging me to hook up. This is in spite of my profile saying that I don’t do hookups. I will start to get to know them and things will start to get hinky or they will be up front with what they are really looking for. Just today I had to tell a guy that I was really getting excited over goodbye and block him from messaging me because he was just curious and wanted to experiment, but, has had a girlfriend for six years! I advised him that he needs to talk to her about what he is looking for instead of cheating on her right before I blocked him. If he can’t talk about the things he is interested in both inside and outside the bedroom with her then there is something wrong with the relationship. Even if she can’t give him what he wants she can say if him going out to try it is a deal breaker, or set rules to help her be comfortable with it so that there is a more open understanding of the actual rules of conduct within the relationship on both sides.

I’ve been in an open relationship. The only rules we set were that she told me when she was with someone else not who just that it happened, and that she use protection at all times. We ended up broken up because she couldn’t follow those rules and ended up pregnant and forced to marry the guy who did it because of her family expectations. Even with that experience I would be willing to be in a poly or open relationship again but only if everyone understood how important communication is for EVERYTHING. You can not assume how people are going to react… well you can, but, you shouldn’t and if you don’t feel like you can be open with someone you are dating or sleeping with then you aren’t with the right person.

Sex has become such a huge deal in society when it shouldn’t. It isn’t as important as the emotional and mental connections that we form with each other. Sex is just a by product of those connections with certain relationships, but, it can not be the sole foundation that the relationship is started with.

I feel like sometimes that because I have these beliefs and hard lines that I draw that I will never find someone to share my life with. I also know that I will be emotionally and mentally worse off if I give in and lower my standards because I would be settling for something that is less than what I want and need. There are a lot of people in the world that do that just because they think that they need someone to be whole or to be acknowledged as a person in this world.

California drivers – Opinion

Okay, so we all know that there are areas all over the world where driver’s suck and the traffic is bad. I’ve driven around or have been a passenger in a few different places throughout the USA. Where I live in California is getting bad and I know why.

1 – People from the Bay Area and Southern California are moving to my hometown bringing their big city attitudes and rude ass driving with them.

2 – The city/town is growing faster than the infrastructure can keep up so there is more congestion.

3 – The city police, county sheriffs, and CHP are all over worked, understaffed, and have to do their work by quota now instead of by what they see, hear, or get told over the radio about.

This has caused a lot of drivers to just say fuck the law and do whatever they like. This pisses me off because one of the rules of etiquette is to act like someone is always watching. Basically always follow the rules, excuse yourself in empty rooms, etc. I’ve actually been honked at for coming to a complete stop at a stop sign. I’ve been cut off, flipped off, honked at, yelled at, etc. for driving the speed limit both on surface streets as well as the freeway/highway/motorway.

It’s like people have forgotten why these rules were put in place. They are there to try to save your life, the lives of people in other vehicles, and people that aren’t in vehicles around you! Fucking Assholes!

I think there needs to be a resurgence of tv movies, etc. that talk about what could happen to people. I remember in the 80’s and early 90’s that there were tons of them. The one that stands out in my head, I can’t remember the name of it, was about a little boy who was hit by a car and the person knew they hit someone but kept going because they didn’t want to be caught. The kid of course was killed. The movie was about how they were found and eventually convicted for the death. There were others during that time period that spanned all the different things that could happen from death for playing chicken with cars, to drunk driving, etc. Heck, one of the biggest movies from the 80’s Footloose is partly about the risks and the aftermath of drunk driving!

I’ve been driving for almost 20 years at this point, I was a late learner, and have never had an accident that involved other people or other vehicles. I did back into a metal and concrete pillar once and dented my trunk lid but that was within the first year or two of driving. Since then I haven’t had any major incidents at all. I also learned my lesson on speeding within five years of getting my license. I was pulled over for going 65 in a 55. Had to pay the ticket and then wait for the mark to come off my record. Since then I don’t speed, I use my signal at all times to turn/change lanes, etc. It’s just easier and safer that way.

For those of you that use the excuse of running late for why you speed and such? Not my problem dudes. Plan better, leave earlier, and don’t make appointments close together.

My Dream Home List

So, I decided a long time ago not to have children because of the traps that are in my DNA. This means that potentially my family would consist of a pet and significant other. Because my family would be so small we wouldn’t really need a lot of space. If I end up being by myself, because I refuse to lower my standards on how I am treated, then that would be doubly true on the lack of need for space.

I’ve been looking around online. There are quite a few sites that sell house plans. For a price they give you a set, or more, of the plans and usually a list of all the materials you would need to build it along with amounts of each material. All you would need at that point is a housing construction company to come and build it.

Since I continuously hope and dream that I will win Publishers Clearing House someday or an inheritance I didn’t know about will come to roost as it were I have expanded my searches on RedFin to include land in the areas that I would want to live in. Here is a list of the top five small homes that I would love to build and live in. All of these plans come from Architectural Designs.

1- Plan 57164HA – Comfortable And Cozy Cottage House Plan

This home has a single bedroom and bathroom. It has a single car garage as you can see from the photo and is only 421 square feet. This would make it easy to care for and maintain. If you click on the photo you can go to the website to see the floorplan which is well thought out and keeps it casual as the living room is also the dining room/kitchen area.

2 – Plan 20155GA – Cozy Cottage with Large Covered Porch

This one is also a 1 bedroom/bathroom home with more of a country flair to the design. It can be built with or without the fireplace. It is only 514 square feet. Like number one the living room is also the kitchen/dining room. It is missing a garage but a detached one could be added next to it or a simple carport. What drew me to this one is that it reminds me of a craftsman home with the stone and covered porches in the front and back.

3 – Plan 52282WM – Tiny Cottage House Plan

This home is of a more modern look and has 550 square feet of space. With one bedroom/bathroom the extra space is used to give a little more separation to the kitchen and the living room. It also gives the space for a walk-in closet, and a walkthrough laundry room that could also be used as a small mudroom. Again there isn’t a garage but nothing stops me from adding a detached or simply a carport.

4 – Plan 67754MG – Cozy Tiny Home with Gabled Front Porch

This one is my second favorite in the list. It is entirely due to the quaint country style to the outside of the home. I see bigger homes that look like this one in the older parts of the city in my hometown. I always smile when I drive by them because of how cute they look. This home is 624 square feet with one bedroom/bathroom. This amount of space allows for a bigger mudroom area, a better division of space between the kitchen and living room as well as enough space to entertain a small group of friends without feeling cramped.

5 – Plan 69629AM – Tiny 2 Bed Modern House Plan

This is my favorite of the group. I love modern and mid-century modern home designs. I think it is the clean lines and the color palettes that usually go along with them. This is also the largest of the homes on this list at 780 square feet. It has two bedrooms and one Jack and Jill bathroom. For me I would turn the second bedroom into a small office/library. As you can see it has a carport built into the design already. It also has a built in dining table in the kitchen area. I would love to have a retro mid-century look to the interior design as much as I could.

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So there you are. My dream homes, especially number 5, that I would build and live in if I had the money to do so. The bonus is that they are all so small that if I bought a large enough amount of land I could build a rental home neighborhood using the same blueprints just different colors on the outside. I would also have to make sure there was plenty of space for on street parking or a small visitor lot.

Google Wants YouTube to Die! – Opinion

I’ve been on YouTube for a long time. Not always as a creator though I am one of those. Not that I am a huge personality on there… I only have 380+ subscribers and low views. However, the last few years I have noticed that there have been changes that have made the platform less and less popular.

They have increased the standards to be a paid creator. They have increased censorship even on channels that have been labelled as adult viewers only. They have shown a bias against certain political beliefs and I am not talking about blatant KKK, Neo Nazi type stuff which I would support.

Now they have stopped email notifications for new videos being posted to channels that you are subscribed to! They have given the excuse that it is because the emails don’t get read and that they don’t increase viewership. Uh, excuse me? Advertisement studies show that email lists, etc. do actually work as they remind the consumer that your business is still around and interested in seeing your attention/money again.

I know that personally I used the email notifications to keep track of the NUMEROUS channels that I follow and to weed out the ones that I wanted to watch from the ones that had topics I was indifferent on. MrMattyPlays is talking about Bethesda games? Sign me up! He starts talking about something else that I am not interested in? Skip. I follow over ten different channels that span various topics from gaming to 3D modelling to politics. I also can’t log in multiple times a day to see if anything new has popped up. I relied on the emails to help me keep track and keep up! I know that I am not the only one either. There are HUNDREDS if not THOUSANDS of people on the announcement post that are complaining about it.

Google… I know that YouTube has never turned a true profit. That it was an experiment that got huge quickly on you, BUT, I also know that you have money coming into the company from other avenues that make YouTube seem like spitting into the fucking WIND! Trying to cut costs by closing down a fucking automated feature is so DUMB. You want to cut costs? How about you stop pandering to trendy politics and Nanny State fucking Karens? Set a crew of ten to twenty people on the site to deal with extreme issues and coming up with updates. Take away the ads and the money making aspect because creators have proven they can get money in other ways to fund them since you keep dicking around with the ad payments anyway. Bring back the emails. Tell companies that since there is no money being made with the videos on your site that if they want something other than free fucking advertising they should contact the creators. Because you know playing a game on a stream or uploading walkthroughs is fair use as long as they aren’t charging for it and is FREE ADVERTISING for the title chosen. Keep the age limits thing because that was actually a smart thing to do out of all the other stupid shit you have done lately.

I never got why so many companies have gotten their panties in a bunch about playthroughs, walkthroughs, lore videos, reviews, and so on. The music people have already gotten paid for the music in them, the game was sold to the person doing the video so they already got money for that, AND by having the video up it allows others to watch, learn, and desire to get the game themselves. I have personally bought at least three to five games myself that I saw through gameplay walkthroughs on YouTube.

All these decisions that have been made over the years brings me to believe that Google semi-secretly wants the experiment that is YouTube to just die. If they didn’t they wouldn’t be trying so hard to limit the audience reach. I miss the old days when we had people like Boeheim and Lonely Girl. Back when the platform was about creativity, sharing of knowledge, etc. and less about fucking money either for Google or the creators themselves. Greed eventually ruins everything people!

Charlie’s Angels (2019) – Review

I just got done watching Charlie’s Angels the 2019 movie that they were hoping to revive the franchise with. It isn’t a reboot it is a continuation of the previous television show and then the series of movies that starred Lucy Liu, Drew Barrymore, and Cameron Diaz. This review will have SPOILERS so if you haven’t seen the movie yet but want to please keep this in mind as you read forward.

I noticed a few things that irritated me. One was the WAY over the top girl power message and the other was the complete erasure of Bill Murray’s Bosley. They took photos that were from the other movies that had him as Bosley and put Sir Patrick Stewart in his place. This actually pissed me off a little bit because I thought Mr. Murray was a great Bosley. Yes, they did end up replacing him later in the other movie series but the fact that they went so far in this one was extreme to me. The girl power message like I mentioned above was way over the top. Charlie’s Angels has ALWAYS been about female empowerment so pushing it so hard as they did in this movie was a step too far. It made it seem like overbearing political hogwash and it actually took some of the already dubious quality away from the film.

I understand why fans of the show and the Lucy, Drew, and Cameron movies got so heated over this one. There is a HUGE lack of character development for both the Angels themselves and the agency. They shove all this information about how the agency has grown to span the world, etc. without really showing much of the history to it. It would have been better had this movie been set during this expansion so that there could be a series of movies or even a television spin off that could have shown different sets of Bosleys and Angels setting up and settling into their new roles in different countries and environments instead of the lack luster way that they showed it. I also hated that instead of finding a new bad guy or staying with the CEO being the baddie they had to go with the traitor within. Of all the movies from the earlier films the one where an ex-Angel was the bad guy was actually the worst one! Having John Bosley be the bad guy just because he was passed over for the Charlie seat was shallow and uninspired. It was also a horrible betrayal of the original television show and the lore setup in it. Bosleys were not supposed to be like that no matter what. Angels could maybe become unstable because of all the crap they go through but Bosleys aren’t as active other than as field support. So the fact that the supposedly original Bosley was portrayed as a bitter old man like this was stupid.

Kristen Stewart got a lot of flak for this movie because people said her acting sucked. Her acting was fine and in fact showed a lot more of her range than her typical roles I have seen. The writing was the issue. Whomever wrote this script had no clue what they really wanted to focus on. The story was all over the place. I saw the same issues in MIB International. A rushed story with no real direction or true character development. They also used the traitor from within trope.

The reason why the Lucy, Drew, and Cameron movies were so popular is because the characters they portrayed had actual lives outside the agency, had a real long term working relationship that was established within the story that was told even back in the first film. Compared to that the new movie was very shallow and completely forgettable.

Now, the movie wasn’t the worst I have ever seen, but, it is the worst of the Charlie’s Angels franchise and it would not surprise me if the franchise is on hiatus again for quite awhile. I think that hollywood has forgotten how to tell a truly meaningful story outside of high drama and political pandering which is just sad.

Thoughts on my sexuality – Transguy Stuff

It’s been hard sometimes to explain to other people let alone myself what my sexuality is. Of course sexuality is complicated and multilayered. If you want to get even more detailed about it for your own research purposes I would recommend reading the Kinsey studies or at the very least watching the movie Kinsey.

Back before I knew I was transgender I kept flip flopping from saying that I was a lesbian to bisexual and back. Please keep in mind that I was born in 1980 so I didn’t even hear a whisper about transgender until 1998 and barely heard anything about LGB. This flip flopping was because I found guys attractive but I had a hard time relating to them as a girl at that time, but, girls were kind of easier for me to interact with because there was the assumption that we had things in common on their end.

Now that I have hormonally transitioned it has been easier to figure out that I am mostly into men though there are some women I am still into. This has been labeled by society as Homoflexible. I just say bisexual most of the time to people unless we get more in depth in the conversation. This answer has had a lot of people scratching their heads at me. If you’re into dudes why did you transition? Wouldn’t it be easier just to have stayed a girl? No, see being a dude has actually made me more comfortable in my skin and other men treat me as a dude instead of a girl. There is an unconscious and sometimes even socially motivated difference in how men treat women and how they treat each other. I am not talking about that macho chest bumping crap. I am talking about topics of conversation, hobbies, etc. Dudes tend to be more relaxed around each other depending on the context.

Being mostly gay and also transgender brings up a whole host of dating difficulties because most gay men aren’t comfortable with girl parts being anywhere near them or they find them totally gross. However, there is a growing section as more education and such comes out of bisexual guys or homoflexible ones that are okay with the whole package as long as everything else looks and sounds male. Unfortunately, I am not attracted to other transmen. The girl parts semi freak me out due to my own body dysphoria. I can only date girls and be intimate with them once I am firmly emotionally attached unless of course they are transwomen with their bits intact. Like I said sexuality is complicated but people are attracted to whom they are attracted to.

Being open about ones sexuality and what you are truly looking for in a partner both in looks but especially in personality is UBER important. I can not tell you the amount of times I have contacted people through online dating sites only for them to have no skill in articulating anything despite having a well done profile. This is because people have Googled and copied other profiles to try to get the best responses but then don’t know how to handle anything. They aren’t sure of their sexuality, aren’t sure about how to socialize, can’t hold a conversation, and the worst would rather just hook up instead of think outside the bedroom or learn about themselves and who they are dating. People make the mistake that most of sexuality is about sex. It’s not it is about attraction, compatibility, and much more. Even Albert Kinsey knew that sexuality was more than tab a slot b.

Be gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual, what have you but be proud of who you are attracted to and make sure to take the time to truly learn yourself. It will save you a shit ton of trouble in the end if you do.

Cheap Burrito Recipe

Tonight I decided that I wanted to make burritos. Burritos aren’t really that hard, but, some people can make it so that there are so many expensive ingredients put into them that it’s crazy. My recipe is simple, low effort, semi-healthy, and most important cheap! There is enough to make about ten burritos maybe more depending on the size of tortilla and the amount of filling that you put in them.

1 packet of Taco Seasoning

1 can of Fat Free Refried Beans

1 can of Sliced Black Olives

2 small cans of Chicken Breast Meat

2 cups of Shredded Cheese

As many tortillas as you feel you need in Burrito size

Directions:

Take the Beans, Olives, and Chicken and put them in a bowl. Mix them together thoroughly. Open the seasoning packet and shake a little on top then stir until you can’t see it anymore then repeat until the whole packet is mixed in. Pop the bowl into the microwave until hot, ours took 2 and one half minutes, then stir again. Get the tortillas in a stack. From there all you need to do is put a little of the filling on one end of the tortilla in a slight line add the cheese then roll them up. Make sure you tuck the sides in as you roll, this takes practice, so that you don’t have filling coming out all over.

Put the burritos on a plate and then pop them into the microwave for about a minute maybe two depending on the appliance so that the cheese will melt and the tortilla will be warm. Enjoy!

Any leftovers can be put into a container to be used the next day or even for your next meal depending on when you make the first batch!

The only thing that I would add that I didn’t have tonight to try and see if it made it even better is diced white onion.

California Wildfires and Climate Change – Opinion

I’ve lived in California my entire life. In fact I have lived in the same city in California my entire life. I have watched as the policies of liberals have turned into a burning pile of crap. A bunch of environmentalists convinced the government that the way we were doing forest husbandry to limit the spread of fire was wrong. We used to cut down dead and dying trees, clear out underbrush, and do controlled burns so that there were gaps to help stop fires from spreading fast. When I was a kid this made it so that even though there were still wildfires that they were easier and faster to contain. On top of that a lot of the fires that people are pointing at as examples of “Climate Change” were started by HUMANS either by accident or by arson!

We need to stop this fatalistic religion that is Climate Change. I am all for lower pollution and finding ways to recycle better because it is better for humans as well as the Earth. The way they are pushing it however is crazy. It has been proven that most of the technology that is in use right now to supposedly help save the planet isn’t actually doing much of that at all. Solar panels being made causes just as much waste as other items that are made, they aren’t efficient unless continuously cleaned and have to be replaced fairly often for multiple reasons, they also have to use expensive batteries to store power for low sun days or nighttime. The batteries as far as I know are just as bad for the Earth as normal car batteries and have to be replaced about every five to six years most of the time. Oh, and because of the efficiency issues they can’t be used as the only power for most houses let alone cities. Wind has some of the same issues and the huge turbines kill birds. Hybrid and all electric cars eat electricity and are dangerous in accidents for civilians as well as first responders Hybrids are a little less on the eating energy than the all in ones, but, aren’t any less dangerous. I’ve had a mechanic also tell me that hybrids and electrics are dangerous for them to even work on depending on the job they’re doing.

It’s crazy. A lot of countries are buying into this crap and are taxing, restricting, etc. in order to supposedly save the planet, but, at the same time India and China especially are putting out tons of pollution which undoes most of the good that is supposedly being done. Meanwhile, people are panicking about this because of all this “proof” that is coming up like the ice caps melting and more fires every year, but, they don’t take into account man made fires, the fact that things from World Wars is being found in the ice as it is melting, that polar bears aren’t going extinct, etc. If we are finding things in the ice that are from our recent history then obviously the ice has been lower before.

In California people voted for things to be put into place that is making it more expensive to live here and then have started to complain because their jobs can’t pay the rent. How about you stop voting for people and things to feel good about yourself and start using your more logical side? Making solar mandatory for all new homes built has made it so that the prices for the homes is out of most working families price ranges. Limiting how many apartment complexes, duplexes, etc. per single family homes is also contributing to the housing crisis. But…but…but… Climate Change we have to do these things to save our planet.

You know what? Talk to any geologist and they will tell you that the Earth is still changing, expanding, retracting, shifting, what have you. It is slow and subtle for the most part. People are worried over sand bars disappearing… not because the seas and oceans are actually rising but because the sand is being washed away… that is NATURAL! The creatures that live on them will migrate or die off because that is the cycle of fucking LIFE! The Earth would become unsustainable to humans sooner than it would a lot of other species before we would die and it would start a new cycle. There is life in the super deep oceans that we have never really seen and haven’t affected at all. It has been shown that even in the most polluted parts of the ocean there is still life happening there. Most of it is too small to the naked eye to be seen but it is there. Humans themselves are individual planets to a lot of life forms ourselves, bacteria, protozoa, etc. Even if mankind were to kill themselves off we wouldn’t take the planet with us, it would be changed and the life that evolved after would most likely not look anything like Humans, but, it would eventually come.

For those that worship a God, Goddess, or what not out there. How arrogant of you to assume that we could completely destroy what they have built? You want to do these things to show respect? Cool beans, just know that they will continue to shift and change their creation. The only thing that you can control is you.

My point is that even if every single American, Canadian, etc. were to suddenly live like the Amish other countries would still be causing issues and I am sorry but we have been cleaning up our stuff for almost a century now and making new cleaner ways to do things as well. It will not happen overnight and without taking over the world we can’t stop everyone because there will always be an industrial revolution or such going on as other countries develop and evolve.

Physical Therapy and Physical Fitness

I started physical therapy about a month ago for a pinched nerve in my hip. It’s not painful but it has caused the feeling in my foot and part of my leg to deaden to where I barely feel anything at all. Then I had the hernia fix recovery added to that AND the cancer recovery therapy. See, the physical therapy is helping me not only with all of my various issues when it comes to my hip, back, etc. it is also helping me lose weight and gain my muscles back. I had a lot of muscle mass under the fat that I carried around. Going through cancer treatments and then having the hernia made it so that I had lost most all of it.

It is amazing to see the fat coming off, currently it is most noticeable on my back, and to see the muscles in my legs and arms come back. I hope that I will be able to continue to see the physical therapist until I am slimmed down enough to qualify for top surgery.

I wish that in some cases like mine where I am considered morbidly obese that health coverage in general would pay for a medically trained personal trainer. This would cost less than the bypass surgery and would help teach long term workout programs as well as healthier habits. Even though I am morbidly obese I am not diabetic, no heart issues, etc. It is actually funny to see the face doctors make when they assume I am pre-diabetic or full diabetic. I’m not even close. I’ve been prodded at by doctors to go do the bypass surgery to drop my weight. I want to do it the hard way. If I earn it by doing it the hard way I am less likely to gain the weight back. Numerous medical studies have proven this to be true and I have a few people in my family that prove it as well. It would just be easier on me to have a personal trainer that I could see two to three times a week for an hour.

I really don’t understand how the local and state governments can push a healthier lifestyle through public campaigns but then financially support the easy way to lose weight while not supporting the longer lasting cheaper way. Bypass surgery costs at least mid five figures on just the surgery, this doesn’t include hospital stays, follow ups, any complications that could happen, etc. Medical fitness trainers would cost maybe 10k a year that is at $50 an hour, three days a week. That means to equal costs of the surgery it would take 5 years. Most people by that point would be at their goal weight if they followed the fitness routines with proper eating habits.